My Brother the Spammer, Part 1
As I mentioned once before, my brother sends me alot of emails. Pretty much everything that is ever sent to him that is a joke, video, political tract, or chain letter. I wade through it, and most of it is amusing. Every so often, he sends me one that annoys the hell out of me. These emails I'll post here. Today's is supposed to be a joke, but it's actually a Christian attack on Atheism. And like many of these, it's pathetic. Here it is...
I actually decreased the font size a bit, but the rest is as it was sent to me.
As an atheist, I'm offended by this whole thing. NOT, however, because it makes fun of Atheists. If I couldn't handle having my beliefs mocked I'd be a Christian. Oh, I slay me. Maybe Muslim would have been funnier, but I don't want to be shot.
Anyway, I'm offended by this because it insults my intelligence and the intelligence of anyone who reads it. Let's look it over shall we. Let's start with the logical inconsistencies. An atheist wants to claim that not having an atheist holiday is discrimination. Um... Yeah. Once again the Christians just don't get it. Atheists don't have holidays, because they don't have holy days, because they don't have religion. Why would an atheist feel discriminated against for not getting what they didn't want in the first place. It would be like saying the Amish felt discriminated against for not having cars. Or a nudist being discriminated against for not having enough clothes.
Then there's the whole court thing. Officially, the United States doesn't have national holidays. The feds do have 10 days they take off a year, and many businesses have adopted these holidays, plus or minus a few. But there isn't any holiday law. Therefore, if you did want "National Atheism Day", you couldn't go to court for it, and no lawyer would try, even the ACLU. You would go to the president. Over the years the presidents have declared all sorts of days to be important enough to be observed.
Speaking of the ACLU. "once again pick up the cause of the godless" this thing says. Wow, there's a charitable Christian sentiment for you. Luckily for the Christian type that wrote this tripe, the ACLU isn't easily offended, they'll defend your sorry ass when you need them to, Godless or Godmore. Why? Because the ACLU doesn't care about your religion. It cares about CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS. You know, that pesky document that guarantees that Christians are allowed to practice their religion alongside the Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, and so forth. And that the atheists are allowed to NOT have a religion. And they defend against ANY breach of the constitution. They're funny that way.
With all that stuff said, the rest of the "joke" falls apart. It's logically inconsistent, like most arguments made by relgious people who haven't really studied their religion. Any Christian worth their salt should see where I'm coming from. This tract isn't about the Christians ideals of charity, love, forgiveness, and peace. Nor is it about religious persecution. Nor is it about discrimination.
Nope. It's a cheap shot at people who aren't like the guy who wrote it. How dare they not believe. I know, I'll call them a big joke. I'll say their holiday is April Fool's day, because they're so foolish. And I'll toss a bible quote in there to show how smart I am. Bwa ha ha. Got you, you atheists! This is exactly the kind of taunting I tell my children not to engage in. Amazing how easy it is to forget what you learned in kindergarten in the name of GOD.
Now, my mother always said, "Don't say anything if you can't say something nice." Perhaps if you agree with the screed, you should think about that. And in that spirit, I'll say this nice thing. It's nice to see a bible quote that is actually what the bible says. A lot of people misquote that particular Psalm to say that only a fool denies God, which isn't what the passage says. If you don't see the difference in the statements, you should look closer.
In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation for Easter and Passover holidays and decided to contact the local ACLU about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while the atheists had no holiday to celebrate.
The ACLU jumped on the opportunity to once again pick up the cause of the godless and assigned their sharpest attorneys to the case.
The case was brought before a wise judge who after listening to the long, passionate presentation of the ACLU lawyers, promptly banged his gavel and declared, "Case dismissed!"
The lead ACLU lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Surely the Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. And the
Jews--why in addition to Passover they have Yom Kippur and Hanukkah ...and yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!"
The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said "Obviously your client is too confused to know about, or for that matter, even celebrate the atheists' holiday!"
The ACLU lawyer pompously said "We are aware of no such holiday for atheists, just when might that be, your honor?"
The judge said "Well it comes every year on exactly the same date---April 1st!"
The fool says in his heart, "There is no God."
- Psalm 14:1, Psalm 53:1
I actually decreased the font size a bit, but the rest is as it was sent to me.
As an atheist, I'm offended by this whole thing. NOT, however, because it makes fun of Atheists. If I couldn't handle having my beliefs mocked I'd be a Christian. Oh, I slay me. Maybe Muslim would have been funnier, but I don't want to be shot.
Anyway, I'm offended by this because it insults my intelligence and the intelligence of anyone who reads it. Let's look it over shall we. Let's start with the logical inconsistencies. An atheist wants to claim that not having an atheist holiday is discrimination. Um... Yeah. Once again the Christians just don't get it. Atheists don't have holidays, because they don't have holy days, because they don't have religion. Why would an atheist feel discriminated against for not getting what they didn't want in the first place. It would be like saying the Amish felt discriminated against for not having cars. Or a nudist being discriminated against for not having enough clothes.
Then there's the whole court thing. Officially, the United States doesn't have national holidays. The feds do have 10 days they take off a year, and many businesses have adopted these holidays, plus or minus a few. But there isn't any holiday law. Therefore, if you did want "National Atheism Day", you couldn't go to court for it, and no lawyer would try, even the ACLU. You would go to the president. Over the years the presidents have declared all sorts of days to be important enough to be observed.
Speaking of the ACLU. "once again pick up the cause of the godless" this thing says. Wow, there's a charitable Christian sentiment for you. Luckily for the Christian type that wrote this tripe, the ACLU isn't easily offended, they'll defend your sorry ass when you need them to, Godless or Godmore. Why? Because the ACLU doesn't care about your religion. It cares about CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS. You know, that pesky document that guarantees that Christians are allowed to practice their religion alongside the Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, and so forth. And that the atheists are allowed to NOT have a religion. And they defend against ANY breach of the constitution. They're funny that way.
With all that stuff said, the rest of the "joke" falls apart. It's logically inconsistent, like most arguments made by relgious people who haven't really studied their religion. Any Christian worth their salt should see where I'm coming from. This tract isn't about the Christians ideals of charity, love, forgiveness, and peace. Nor is it about religious persecution. Nor is it about discrimination.
Nope. It's a cheap shot at people who aren't like the guy who wrote it. How dare they not believe. I know, I'll call them a big joke. I'll say their holiday is April Fool's day, because they're so foolish. And I'll toss a bible quote in there to show how smart I am. Bwa ha ha. Got you, you atheists! This is exactly the kind of taunting I tell my children not to engage in. Amazing how easy it is to forget what you learned in kindergarten in the name of GOD.
Now, my mother always said, "Don't say anything if you can't say something nice." Perhaps if you agree with the screed, you should think about that. And in that spirit, I'll say this nice thing. It's nice to see a bible quote that is actually what the bible says. A lot of people misquote that particular Psalm to say that only a fool denies God, which isn't what the passage says. If you don't see the difference in the statements, you should look closer.
Glintir |
12/12/2005 01:38:00 PM |
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